A star collapsing

They never could learn the difference,

That's all they ever saw of me,

Just a star collapsing.

Their special project losing its wonder.

My fire scorching them,

That day I knew.

My gravity would hold them back,

My presence burning out,

Only out of routine.

I don't remember cleaning up the blood after me,

But I must have,

I'm clean now.

I was born into a soldier not a girl.

Yet the yearning of giving up,

Grows bigger than my being by the second.

So how come I'm fond of my progress?

My thinking spirals out of place.

It is a matter of time before my spark gives out,

And I have no idea how to light it up again.

It is in my veins to surrender to the panic,

Now I'm older and still am learning how rewire my brain.