Cant stop howling,

You tell me,

-Tell me where it hurts!

And try, man I swear I do,

Its just my head is in tangles!

And I can't seem to make sense of it all!

Because some people can never stop howling,

Or tell you where it hurts.

You reach for my hand,

Letting me know I'm not alone.

I would like to believe your words,

I swear I do.

But memory is a rope around my neck,

I must keep suicidality at bay.

My thoughts echo at me,

My head is at war!

I try rationalising it,

I can barely keep holding on!

You nudge me again.

-Tell me where it hurts!

And I think it would be easier to point out where it doesn't.

Making the choice to keep living,

Is swallowing the nightmares with my morning coffee.

I keep swallowing it, until it turns into a hand grenade,

Rupturing my lungs with my heart.

The only way to be safe right now if I keep swallowing the hurts.

And steady my hands, so they don't drop the paintbrush.

-does anyone know?

-your therapist, doctor they must, right?

They do nevertheless, they can't help me.