The call

You asked if you could call me if you were ever really going to kill yourself,

Sure, but I won't write your goodbye letters.

I will not write your obituary,

Sure, I will have the best journalist in town write you into a better place.

I will have him quote Charles fucking Bukowski,

But I will not stop him, Because I will not write you into a better fucking place.

Because I stopped believing that place exists for us.

And if I don't have a right to leave this world on my own terms neither do you.

But if you call me at three fucking am I will write you a new sky,

I will write you your own farm, with your beloved horses,

And on this farm no one will take anything from you.

If you call me, I will write you a diy cloud maker

Just so on days when you can't do anything you can still make clouds

And ride away on your horses.

I will write you your way out of this,

But only if you make an effort to pretend to want to stay.

I will write you letters, for every day of your hospital stays,

I will put messages in bottles,

I will peel every fruit on the world for you , if that means you will eat something today.

I will write you songs if that means you will dance with me one more day

I can't write music but I will find Noah Kahan and have him write you an entire album.

I will write you a clean body, with veins that aren't begging to be split open.

And I know knives are easier to be found than therapists.

But we will find you a great one.

I will write you 116-111,

that's the suicide hotline,

We can call it together, and yeah you can call me,

But I won't tell you it's okay, that I forgive you,

I won't say I love you one last time,

I can't let you leave on good terms with me.

Because I will not forgive you

I won't read you your last letter and watch you absolve into dust

I can't watch you wither away.

I can't watch you sail away on ship, lit up in flames.

I will not hold your hand steady around a gun and razors

And after I will not come by to pick up the body part you have left specifically for me,

I won't look after your dead heart after your gone ,

As it is not yours anymore.

I will write you a thousand reasons to stay,

So, to answer your question, yes please call me if you ever going to really kill yourself.

Becouse I will tell you a million times how you make the world a better place,