The hotline call

I lay on my bed, its all to familiar. i feel the bedsheets rubbing off on my leg, as they get tenser. Reality bites my back. 

My wrist are itching for a blade to find its sweet way back under my skin, i know its time to call for help, and as my sister breathes a bed next to me, i can not call. the irony is, i have been silenced by love. I text my friend but its late at night , she needs her sleep aswell. It might not even be that serious, there is just no way to determine yet.

Having to write in to google search, closest suicide hotline sure is a gutwrenching experience. But they help, they understand and dont judge your hurt. They stay with you until you are safe to leave alone. 

The pills do their job , i fall asleep. But then again this is not a day i wish to wake up to, yet still i do. And im glad for the first time in what feels like forever that i made it thru a crisis.