The hurrican hits

She sweeps right in like a hurricane,

Siphoning my energies out me, 

As it was her right to do so.

Im right back in that house,

making myself smaller in order to be loved.

As she takes away my sense of safety,

I automatically reach for the kitchen knife,

I got rid of my olf habits a long time ago,

Nevertheless a responsible mind doesnt seem to be enough for the ptsd.

The truths have unfolded for me ,

i dont need to solve tha puzzle this time

I know exactly what is about to go down

And i feel the fire boiling over me

I wish so hard for her blade to stop twisting in my chest.

Becouse if i were to twist it inside her it wouldnt be called nothing or overreaction right?

If i was the one violent towards her that wouldnt be nothing right?

Or i choose to twist the same knife inside me , that wouldnt be nothing right?
You would only call me stupid? Right?

She knows exactly only her presence hurts me

My brain attempts to protect me the only way it knows how to,

Nevertheless everything is hurting,

Please have mercy on me, i beg you

im in pain, i wish to die now

Please could you just let me die.