Wrong chemicals

I was born with the wrong chemicals in my brain,

Making me feel a little bit clinically insane.

And as Im still waiting on a reason to catch my will to live,

I know i will get there.

But as my classmate passes me a boxcutter during class,

I can barely fight the urge to rush towards the bathroom.

There isnt anyone who would notice.

Why is it getting so much harder to breathe,

I live a little deeper,

and as im starving for quiet 

My thoughts echo at me

I have never been happier, 

yet the violence is prodding against my own heart

Im afraid,

Im afraid to be afraid.

Am i going insane?